Mixed Up Blessings/Kosher Konfusion

Mixed Up Blessings

Kosher Konfusion

Three Christians arrive at the Pearly Gates together. St. Peter quizzes each on the meaning of Easter. The first says it's that day in November when the family gets together, eats turkey, and watches football on TV.

St. Peter laments the state of religious education.

The second says it must be the day in July when we set off fireworks and have patriotic parades.

St. Peter is even more disappointed.

The third describes the entrance into Jerusalem, the Last Supper, the Betrayal, the crucifixtion, and burial in the tomb sealed by a round stone.

St. Peter is really encouraged and happy, until the supplicant explains that each year the stone is rolled away, Jesus comes out, and if he sees his shadow there are six more weeks of winter.

A dialogue with God while Moses is at the top of Sinai...

G: And remember Moses, in the laws of keeping Kosher, never
cook a calf in its mother's milk. It is cruel.

Moses: Ohhhhhh! So you are saying we should never eat milk and meat together.

G: No, what I'm saying is, never cook a calf in its mother's milk.

Moses: Oh, Lord forgive my ignorance! What you are really saying is we should wait six hours after eating meat to eat milk so the two are not in our stomachs.

G: No, Moses, what I'm saying is, don't cook a calf in its mother's milk!!!

Moses: Oh, Lord! Please don't strike me down for my stupidity!
What you mean is we should have a separate set of dishes for milk and a separate set for meat and if we make a mistake we have to bury that dish outside...

G: Ah, do whatever you want...


	Mixed Up Blessings		Kosher Konfusion
	Three Christians arrive at the Pearly Gates together. St. Peter quizzes each on the meaning of Easter. The first says it's that day in November when the family gets together, eats turkey, and watches football on TV. St. Peter laments the state of religious education. The second says it must be the day in July when we set off fireworks and have patriotic parades. St. Peter is even more disappointed. The third describes the entrance into Jerusalem, the Last Supper, the Betrayal, the crucifixtion, and burial in the tomb sealed by a round stone. St. Peter is really encouraged and happy, until the supplicant explains that each year the stone is rolled away, Jesus comes out, and if he sees his shadow there are six more weeks of winter.		A dialogue with God while Moses is at the top of Sinai... G: And remember Moses, in the laws of keeping Kosher, never cook a calf in its mother's milk. It is cruel. Moses: Ohhhhhh! So you are saying we should never eat milk and meat together. G: No, what I'm saying is, never cook a calf in its mother's milk. Moses: Oh, Lord forgive my ignorance! What you are really saying is we should wait six hours after eating meat to eat milk so the two are not in our stomachs. G: No, Moses, what I'm saying is, don't cook a calf in its mother's milk!!! Moses: Oh, Lord! Please don't strike me down for my stupidity! What you mean is we should have a separate set of dishes for milk and a separate set for meat and if we make a mistake we have to bury that dish outside... G: Ah, do whatever you want...